Pain isn’t always a bad thing– it’s something that can be incorporated into your intimate play to deepen partner bonds, encourage vulnerability, de-stress and more. Impact play is an umbrella term that describes a type of BDSM that involves some degree of hitting, spanking, whipping, etc– hence ‘impact’. It can be the perfect addition to all sorts of role-plays, adding the element of punishment to your scenes and creating channels to nurture your inner masochist (or sadist). 

For some complete BDSM newbies (and particularly impact newbies), it may seem bizarre or intimidating to imagine wanting to be ‘hit’ by your partner in an intimate context, but as with any type of BDSM, there are degrees of intensity with play. From a light spanking during sex to a full-blown heavy whipping session, impact play comes in all flavors. 

So, what’s the allure? 

Pain can supercharge and excite the senses during sex or sexual play. It can be erotic and thrilling to dish out or receive a good beatdown from your trusted partner, and it’s a way to test your kinky limits. We’ll cover the basics of how you can conduct your impact play in the safest, sexiest fashion. 

First and foremost, ongoing negotiation and consent are a must. Discuss with your partner what toys are of interest, what level of intensity your play might reach, and always keep your safe word handy. We don’t mind some light bruising or welts, but improper care during impact play can risk serious injury. Consent during impact scenes should be ongoing, meaning you should check in with them several times throughout the scene to make sure everyone feels safe and content buy bdsm toys. 

If you’re the ‘top’ in this scene, test the impact toys on yourself first. Impact toys come in all shapes, sizes and weights, and it’s impossible to know just how bad one might sting unless you test it on yourself first. We recommend using your upper thigh to test the intensity of a whip, crop, flogger or cane before using it on your sub. This way, you’ll have a better understanding of how hard or soft you want to wield your instrument. We also recommend practicing your aim on a pillow or nearby piece of furniture to ensure you can be precise when using your toy of choice!

Avoid certain areas on the body. There are plenty of areas that can safely take a lot of action bondage restraints:: the butt, the thighs, the upper back and shoulders, the biceps and the calves. Other more sensitive areas can still receive a little impact, but serious caution should be used. It’s crucial to avoid hitting joints (like the elbows and knees), the neck, the face, and the lower back, as you could literally be whipping one of your partner’s kidneys. Ouch!

A warm up period and ‘aftercare’ are a must. During your impact scenes, it’s important that the intensity of play is gradually built up. Use your spanking hand or the lightest impact toys you have to ‘warm up’ the area(s) that will be taking a beating. Get the blood flowing and help your sub prepare to ramp up the intensity. Check in with them– ask them to give you feedback on where their pain scale is between 1 and 10, and adjust accordingly. Give them clear expectations on what to expect and how to push themselves (“I’m going to give you 10 spanks here, and another 10 whips here– can you handle that?”). After you’ve reached the peak of your impact session and are ready to take it down a notch, you or your sub may be in a wild headspace after receiving all that pain! ‘Aftercare’ refers to the measures taken to bring you or your sub down from that ‘high’ in a way that’s also gentle and gradual. Nurture their new wounds with a little ice or ointment, lay with them and give them words of affirmation (“you did so well”, “you really pushed yourself for me”, “I’m proud of you for taking all of that pain”). 

Now, we’ll cover a few of our favorite impact toys. 

Paddles- Paddles come in all shapes, weights and sizes. The surface area, material and thickness of your paddle will determine the intensity of the sensation it delivers. Our crocodile-print Leather Paddle is the perfect weight balance to dish out spankings that can be built up in intensity. 

Floggers- Floggers are like whips, but instead of a single tail, it’s a cluster of tassels to distribute the pain a little more easily. There’s a distinction in BDSM between impact toys that provide a more ‘thuddy’ or a more ‘stingy’ sensation, and floggers are a perfect balance of both. Try our Beaded Handle Genuine Leather flogger and practice your aim to deliver just the right amount of pain! 

Crops- Crops provide quick, stingy impact sensations, as the surface area that makes contact with the body is relatively small. Since they’re easy to control, they’re a great toy for impact tops who aren’t the most confident yet about their aim. Try our Leather Spanking Crop or our Leather Triangle Crop to take your impact play up a notch! 

Whips- Single-tail whips are like the ones you’ve seen in Indiana Jones– they’re long and gradually thin out toward the tip. These provide the ultimate ‘stingy’ sensations, and can really leave a serious welt! Make sure your aim is precise and exact when using one of these, as they require you to stand several feet back from your partner. We recommend practicing your aim as much as you can before using one of these. 

Canes- Regarded as one of the most painful impact toys, canes are not for the faint of heart! The thinner the cane is, the more ‘stingy’ and toe-curling the sensation is. This is an implementation we recommend building up to very slowly, and make sure your aim is on point to avoid injury. 

Impact play, when done correctly, can be perfectly safe. It’s a way to intensify your kinky partner scenes, create erotic role-plays and test your limits and courage as a sub. Follow these simple safety guidelines, grab your favorite impact toy(s) and get spanking!